Poem - Failure

Suddenly I'm drowning,

Into an unexplainable emotions,
Am I exaggerating,
Am I over-reacting,
Am I over-thinking,
Or the world seems to be mean?

I'm trying,
Trying so hard to chill down,
Though I know I can't,
Though I know I won't.

God,
Do you ignore me?
No He not.

I'm breathing,
I'm fighting,
I'm struggling,
But yet I'm defeating,

All the hopes,
All the dreams,
All the strengths,
Stumble upon a failure,
Ouch I'm crushing,
Into scattered pieces.

I woke up one day,
Hugged by the silent truth,
Realising my life not as I dreamt.

Trying to loosen up my body,
Trying to escape,

Trying to figure out,

The lame future of me,

Though I know it's hurt,

That I might not be what I wanna be.

Trying to be perfect,
Thought it is what maturity might be,
But no,
It is fantasy,
It's more immature,

And that's silently killing me,
Without any awareness.

All the failures,
All the sadness,
All the disappointment,
It makes me falling down,
To the hard ground,
Over and over again.

Everytime I fall,
I stand up,
I shed the tears,
I wipe the blood,
I wrap the wound,
Ready to walk again.

I might be dying,
But I die fighting.